Jim Halpert

Sarah told me the other day that I had to save a little bit of apple cider in the large glass bottle because it took her family a long time to save up for it.

Haha. That was the bestest prank ever. Fantastic. Jim Halpert worthy.

Poop

This is our first post written together, as true Biffles.

Yeah. Take that.

I am currently sitting on a chair in Sarah's dining room. And Sarah is lecturing me on how it's not a living room, like I initially called it.

It's actually the formal (bam. italicized word) dining room.

Anywho. For this post, we will be talking about relationship advice.

Guys are lame. The end.

Don't fall for their googly eye tricks. Boys these days are greedy, absurd, and as my mother says, they only want one thing. Of course, this depends on the guy.

99% guys are lame.

I bet we are having more fun writing this post than when you will read it.

Ok. Well. I have Burlesque nails.

And Sarah painted my nails an awesome purpley sparkle color. For the New Year's. But this has nothing to do with relationships.

Ok. Allow me to give you guys pearls o' wisdom on relationships. Guys are pretty stupid. Like, unintelligent.

She only had one pearl of wisdom. Also. Guys seriously lack in the common sense department. Until, one day they grow up. When that happens...............umm...I don't know what'll happen then.

On a more important note, Kill Bill 3 is coming out in 2014. I am excited.

How absurd Sarah is. That has NOTHING to do with our relationship advice. Unless you watch that movie on a date. I wouldn't recommend that. I have never seen it, but it sounds pretty vicious for a date.

Whatevs. It's awesome. I'll probably marry a guy that likes Kill Bill. That will be the telling sign.

I will probably marry a guy who likes Spongebob. Or maybe who has traveled to Africa. Or who can make other people laugh. Or who knows how to dress well. I dunno. Or a guy who likes Psych.

Yeah, that too. Oddly enough, me talking about Kill Bill has turned into relationship stuff.

That's really cool. I think we are done with this post. So...marry someone you admire. And who makes you become a better person. And Sarah says that sometimes she can't understand Shakira. Sarah, that's because she speaks spanish.

Then why is she talking about Africa in Spanish? I'm pretty sure the Negro's don't appreciate that.

ARE YOU READY?

THIS POST IS ALL IN CAPS BECAUSE SOMETHING OOBER EXCITING IS COMING UP.

FIRST OF ALL, ME AND SARAH ARE GOING TO WORK ON OUR BLOG.........TOGETHER!

AREN'T YOU FOLLOWERS EXCITED??

AND ALSO ALL OF YOU WHO LOOK AT OUR BLOG BUT NEVER CLICK THE "FOLLOW" BUTTON, YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED, TOO.

BUT, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THAT WE WILL REDESIGN AND MAKE OUR BLOG MUCH BETTER, AND AS I SAID BEFORE....TOGETHER.

AFTER ALL, AS FELLOW HUMAN BEING, MUSICIAN➘, AND SURFER↑, JACK JOHNSON SAYS: "WE ARE BETTER TOGETHER." ↓

HAVE A REALLY GREAT DAY, WEEK, AND NEW YEAR.

-MALLORY

P.S. ISN'T SHE FUNNY?

⇓

New Years Resolutions

Okay....here goes.


For the year of 2011, here are my goals.


And I will accomplish them this time.


I will, I will.

1. I am going to use my loud voice and my whistle at work.
2. I am going to do yoga regularly.
3. I am going to read the entire Book of Mormon.  (I have been wanting to finish it for years.  Somehow, I haven't.)
4. I am going to do the splits (as a result of doing yoga...I have wanted to do the splits forever).

For something fun:

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Oh, how I love Johnny Depp in this movie:

Willy Wonka: Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking! 
Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass? 
Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. 

Yeah, you should definitely watch this movie.

-Mallory

Crying

Here's what I think of crying.

(This is in response to this blog post: http://kirstensouth.blogspot.com/ (Breaking Down)).

I hate to cry.

But sometimes it makes me feel so good.

Yet so pitiful.

I feel like whenever I cry I am just having a pity party for myself.  

In words of the good leaders and inspirational people of our world, the way to be happy is by helping others.

But sometimes, you just need to fix your own problems first. 

Like on airplanes, if the plane starts crashing down, the flight attendants say to put your own oxygen mask on first, so you can help the people surrounding you, and your loved ones.

Crying makes me feel weak.

For the first time yesterday in a very long time, I wept.

And no, it was not for anybody else.

I felt selfish.

I cried because I was sorry for myself.

Sorry that I couldn't accomplish my goals and dreams of perfection.

Sorry that I was so sad.

But I told myself to just cry.

Not to hide my tears after my emotions building up for years and years of stress,

and high school,

and problems, 

and drama,

and more stress.

It didn't really fix all my problems.

But it relieved some of my stress.

Because I realized, I can't be perfect.

I can't be some awesome, amazing, do all good person that is perfect in every single way,

like Mary Poppins.

I do wish.

I do dream.

But sometimes those dreams and goals can harm me and you.

So don't tear yourself down.

Don't beat yourself up, as my Coach said.

A part of me will always be sad for what I cannot do, 

and maybe someday I will get there,

but it's not worth despairing over,

I have almost fully realized.

I realize that I just need to be happy.

I need family,

friends,

love, 

God,

service,

and laughter,

and passions.

So, be happy.

Be happy that you can breathe,

talk,

hear,

see,

smell,

and move.

You are alive.

So be alive.

-Mallory

Let them eat cake, she says, just like Marie Antoinette

I don't really like to blog about clothes. It's just not my thing. As close as fashion is to my heart, I just don't like to blog about clothes.

But alas, today, shall be the exception.

Today, I shall blog about clothes.

Never again though, I swear.

Might I direct your attention to the right?

Reader, meet Trouve' Assumption Wedge Boot.

Trouve' Assumption Wedge Boot, Reader.

This, as you might guess, is what I am asking "Santa" for, for Christmas. Nothing more. Just this.

The only thing that somewhat worries me is the fact that they are 4 inch heels with a 3/4 inch platform (which, DOES mean that I shall be 6 feet tall with these beauties on). I don't want to be walking along all awesome and fall on my face like a loser.

I imagine this is what Luke Skywalker felt like when he was first presented a lightsaber. It's like "Wow, this thing is so awesome, but I don't know how to use it."

Worst case though, I will just walk around my house with them on until I can walk without looking like a spaz.

But, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I can't be certain that these Gaga-worthy shoes are going to fly with The Parents. All I can do is hope and dream.

I might end up having to scrape up the money and pay for these bad boys myself.

If they still have any 9 1/2's left after Christmas.

Seriously, if I get on Nordstrom.com 3 weeks from now and see that all they have is 10's left, I am going to die of unfulfilled boot-lust.

Confessions to People

Like Sarah, I need to make some confessions.

It's not necessary to make-out all over my friends locker at school.

You don't need to make fun of others to feel good about yourself.

Stop asking me to cheat in school for you.

I like to laugh at all your secrets displayed on online social networking places.

I laugh at your fool-ness.

I wish I was rich.

And stop giggling so much.
wait...I suppose I giggle a-lot.

*giggle giggle*

maybe i oughtta stop that.

maybe not.

it helps me survive.


I don't like it when you make up stuff.

I don't like it when you make that smirky face at me.

I don't like it when you think you are smarter than everyone around you.

I don't like it when you avoid my eye contact.

I don't appreciate your rude-ness.

I wouldn't mind to push you right now.

I don't like it when you bash my best friends.

I don't like it when you are fake.

I don't like to pretend.

I don't like how my hair has split ends.

I don't like it when I make an effort to acknowledge you, and you don't.

 I suppose that's life.

Some people make efforts,


and some don't.


That's just how it goes, in every aspect of living.



Please be happy.

As Audrey Hepburn said:

The prettiest girls are the happiest girls.

I guess that goes with guys,
you might wanna change "prettiest" to "handsome-est".

Something like that.

(My two favorite descriptive words are gorgeous and handsome.  Aren't they such beautiful words?)

-Mallory


P.S.  Tell Sarah to blog something.

I love

The foamy cream on top of Hot Chocolate.

From Flickr.

To Whip My hair Back and Forth

This Leather Jacket

The sartorialist

Mush

Today I fell asleep while laying upon the blue leather couch in my living room.  

My hand was at an awkward position, so it fell asleep.  

I also was taking this mini nap in order to escape my dreadful feelings of an essay I needed to write for a class.

But, after I woke up I ate some of the most delicious chocolate in my life!

I would seriously recommend this, even to Chocolate haters.

It is DIVINE.

I also ate some goldfish and drank some water.

I tried to sit down and write the stupid essay, but my brain felt like mush!

I looked at the words I had written, and it all looked like jumble mumble!

I felt so squashy, like spongebob.

-Mallory

Some Confessions to Various People In My Life

Confession to a few Facebook friends-

-I don't care that you haven't "found your prince".

-I don't care what you made for dinner that was so unbelievably good.

-I don't care what your kid's Halloween costume was.

-Stop posting quotes about how happy you are with stupid little smiley faces, because whenever I talk to you, you are in a crappy mood and treat me like crap and everybody else like crap.



Confessions to a few Real Life People-

-Haha. Next time you tell me I am really pale and start laughing, maybe you should get the mustard off your face first. Idiot.

-You don't have to hug your boyfriend right in the middle of the hall. Seriously. Move.

-Next time you plan on wearing so much cologne, don't. OH!

-I'm fine. I'm having a blast. That's why I'm sitting here by myself. Everything is HUNKY FRICKEN DORY!



Confessions to the Adult Superiors In My Life (except my parents)-

-I don't really care if I'm missing out on a good social experience. I'm not going to do the Electric Slide.

-Stop criticizing my negative attitude. I saw you spanking and yelling at your kid 5 minutes ago.




Felt good to get that off my chest.

What is Style?

Sometimes I totally embrace who I am, exemplified by my clothing, makeup, hair and overall style.  

Other times, I kind of fear what others think of my fashion.

In case you are wondering, this is my style:

(shabbyapple)

I love this simple, cute, and fun style.  

If it was normal to wear a dress to high school every day, and if I owned multiple cute dresses like this,

I would be able to more fully dress like who I am.

Fortunately, I am acquiring more and more cute outfits lately.

So I will be dressing like this:

(athleta)

and this:

(banana republic)

But sometimes the outfit just doesn't work out as planned.

Or it just doesn't look as cool as I wanted it to.

And that's okay.  

Life is sometimes like that...blah.

But the good thing is that I know who I am, and therefore I know how I like to dress.

I know I love not tons of jewelry, but nice, simple accents.

I love boots, boots, boots.

I love skirts that go with every one of my shirts.

I love flowy cardigans.

I have always wanted a little pair of sneakers that goes with all my outfits.

I know I would love to be a model of Shabby Apple, Banana Republic, or Fossil.

I love the color brown.  

(which is sometimes why my outfits look weird because my brown cardigan matches my brown hair, and my brown boots, and my brown tanktop.)

But the point is, sometimes I'm afraid to stick out.  

I don't want to expose my boobs to the world, neither my butt.  Like other girls in this world.  And guys.

  I would rather not have to worry about that.

I like to dress sort of conservatively, in comparison to the rest of the world.

I have a little story.  

One day, It was "dress up as your favorite teacher" spirit day at my school.

I dressed up as one of the ladies at my school...

and sadly, nobody noticed.  They just all thought it was my regular outfit.

Indeed, it was not.

In fact, in one of my previous art classes, I was told by my classmates that I dressed just like the teacher.

I was upset because her style was quite odd and eccentric.

But, who cares.

Obviously not everyone knows my true styles.

One day when I am rich, I will buy all the clothes that I want so I truly accomplish the outfits "look" I desire.

Yay : )

-Mallory

Sarah's tips to Mallory to un-deathify herself

Because I am deathly ill, I look deathly sick....

Well actually I just am feverish.  But I still look like death.  And so, I emailed a picture to Sarah of how horrible I looked, and she gave me some tips:

1. Wash your face

2. Exfoliate your face to get color back to your skin.

3. Wash yo hair

4. Go to sleep

Good Advice, huh?

-Mallory

Something that attracts followers

I was asked to come here and "say something witty and attract followers".

So here I am.

If you are reading this and are not a follower of this blog, I would highly suggest you follow it because you are obviously surfing the internet, and don't have anything better to do with your time. You probably should be tending to your crying kid or writing a thesis or folding laundry or something, but you decided that you would rather look at random blogs and flip through craigslist to see if there are any pinball machines for sale in your area. Since you are not going to accomplish anything today, you might as well fulfill the dreams of 2 young girls. This will give you a feeling of satisfaction, so when you are laying in bed tonight, you can think to yourself, "Wow. I did a good deed today. I mean yeah, I've forgotten to feed the dog twice now, and I should probably take the trash out tomorrow so that when my date comes over my house won't smell like week-old chow mein, but dude, I made 2 girls overjoyed with joy."

I think that in itself is enough reason.

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.”

What is a Hero?

As you can guess, I googled it. And I found out some pretty interesting stuff.

The first thing that caught my eye was that there was a movie made by His Awesomeness Quentin Tarantino called Hero. The cast includes Jet Li and a bunch of less famous Asian people.

But more importantly, I found out that a hero, as Mallory's good friend Dictionary.com put it, is "a man (or woman) who has distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities".

After much thought, I would have to say my hero is Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel. You might have heard of the name Chanel, if you have any fashion education at all. This lady was a french designer whose collections changed 20th century fashion. How does she posses courage? Well, she came about in a time where the women's fashion industry was dominated by extremely feminine designs. Chanel's menswear-based designs introduced a certain "casual elegance" that, despite the fact they were scoffed at in the beginning, eventually dominated the fashion industry.

So yeah.

Heros

Whenever I think of a "Hero" I automatically think of Enrique Iglesias's song called "Hero."  I think that its exceptionally beautiful when he sings it in Spanish, but either way, both versions are beautiful.  In this song he talks about how he can be this girl's hero.  He says that he will stand by her forever.

So, according to Enrique, a hero is someone who is loyal, committed, loving, and romantic.

But, according to me, (Mallory) I think that a hero can be anybody who has inspired another person to feel something and put something into art or language that could not initially be expressed by the hopeful person.

A hero is often picked because a person likes the virtues and example of the leader.  Often, rebellious teenagers will claim that their hero is some super cool adult like the black guy on Rob and Big who mess around all day and do fun stuff, like skateboard.

But that is the person's inspiration, is it not?

So, in a sort of conclusion, I would like to state that my hero is my mother.

I am trying to be like her.  She has so much confidence in herself and her actions.
Over the years of her life, and consequentially because of her history, she has learned that integrity is best when never sacrificed.  She has also taught me that doubt and desire never mix.
My mother is the reason I am here today, the reason why I am who I am.

Because of her faith in herself, God, and in me, she has inspired me to become a better person every day.

Did you know that every morning she makes and packs my lunch for the day?
And Did you know that if I forget to put deodorant on, or if I forget to pack some tennis shoes for practice later, that she will bring it to me?
Did you know that she lets me drive her super awesome car?
Did you know that she has the most amazing humor ever?

She is so random, and her humor is just how I love it: weird.

Someday I will conquer and tackle all of my fears like my mother has done.  Someday I will be her.

-Mallory

In Ten Years...

I have a close idea of what my life will be like.

Sorta.

I sometimes wish I could see my future.

To see what I do.
The choices I make, and who I am, and what I look like, and what I decide to do with life.

I know I want to go to college.

and swim in college.

And I would like to go on a mission.

I would also like to get married someday.

And have kids.


I also have many dreams that I would like to accomplish someday.

Like...I think it would be cool to learn how to dance.  Ballet, tap, jazz...any kind.  I also want to progress somewhere in my swimming career.  I want to be an artist.  A nurse.  A mother.  I want to go skydiving. I want to travel the world.

But I don't think I could accomplish all of that in ten years.  Maybe I could work on the part of traveling the world.  I have always wanted to go to different places and see new things.  I love vacations.

In fact...I was seriously planning to go on an exchange the second semester of this year.  But...I changed my mind.  Because of certain matters, and I just....was flighty with my thoughts.

Ok I just looked up the definition of flighty...what I actually meant is that I just was never too "sure" about whether I should go....missing swimming and home and all.

I really wanted to go to Costa Rica and learn to speak spanish fluently.  
I am considering going somewhere on exchange in college.

Wouldn't that be awesome?!



Also..I think I will still be a lifeguard in ten years.

It's a pretty nice job.


So...I think what I see myself doing in ten years is basically living my life, trying to accomplish the goals I have always set for my life.

But...whatever goals I try to accomplish then is all determined by the actions I make in the next few years.  Applying for college.  Going somewhere to college.  Swimming in college.  Going on a mission. Going on exchange.

Back to being unsure of my choices...I seem to always want to expand out of my comfort zone..like trying different sports...but I always go back to swimming..

Because I love swimming...and I have always wanted to be a better swimmer.

And the only way to become a better swimmer is by swimming.

I thought about running xc, or track, softball, gymnastics, and ballet...but swimming is where it's at.  It's what I love, where I feel comfortable, what I have been doing almost all  my life, and what I enjoy.

It's like my home plate thingimajig...someplace I can always go back to, and it'll always be available for me to do.

There you go.

My future is a bit "unsure" but I will figure it out.   I know who I am, what I love, who I love, and what my goals are.  So that should be sufficient.


-Mallory

Where I see myself in 10 years

Off the bat, let me just say, I'm watching Family Guy at the same time as writing this, so forgive me if this post sounds disjointed.

Where I See Myself In 10 Years

By Sarah Shill

I don't really project into the future much. I like to just make it up as I go along. Pretty much the only thing I know about my future right now is I'm not going to be living in Alaska and that I am not going to have braces. But everything else is pretty much a toss up.

If I think about if realistically, I can honestly say, that I don't think I'll be married by the time I'm 26. I just can't really see that happening. I guess its possible. Probably like a 1% chance. But that rant is for a separate blog post.

Man, I have never thought about this before.

Holy crap, what if ten years from now I have a kid?

The mere thought of that terrifies me beyond belief.

Motherhood.

I am in no fit condition to be a mother.

It's not like I was one of those little girls who played with baby dolls.

In fact I NEVER played with baby dolls. When I was a kid, I played with Beanie Babies.

Not just any Beanie Babies.

I had 4 particular Beanie Babies I played with every day. Their names were Elaine, Jerry, George, and Kramer. Yeah. I named my Beanie Babies after characters from "Seinfeld". That should give you an idea of the kind of child I was.

There was this one lady who was my mom's home teacher who thought I was a total freak of nature or something. She treat me like I was some kind of "special child".

Sister Whatever- "And who is this lovely young lady?"

Mom- "This is my daughter Sarah. Sarah, say hello."

Me- "Hello."

Sister Whatever- "What's that you're playing with little girl?"
Me- "Oh. These are my friends, Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine."

Sister Whatever- "I beg your pardon?"

Me- "Here! You can hold them. But be careful, George is being extra emotional today!"

(Thrusts raggedy animals into lady's reluctant hands)

Sister Whatever- "Uh-huh....Anne, have you ever considered getting Sarah...you know....checked out?"

Welcome to my childhood.

Anyways, back to my future.

On a more serious note, all I really hope is that ten years from now, I'll be happy. Or at least happier than I am now. That hopefully, in these next ten years of my life I'll find that one thing that brings me joy, so to speak, and that I can wake up in the morning and not dread the day ahead of me, but anticipate it.

Who knows where I will be in 10 years? Maybe I'll be dead before I even make it to that point. Maybe I'll get hit by a car tommorow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.

That's why you have to "Carpe Diem". That means sieze the day, I believe. I better Google it to make sure.

Yeah, I was right. It's Latin.

Carpe Diem. Makes me sound pretty smart huh?

Anways, this is turning into a totally lame sappy post, so I better stop typing and finish my episode of Family Guy.

Hi. The name's Sarah.

This is half my blog, half Mallory's blog.

We figured we would take a chance and create a blog together.

Hopefully it doesn't end up being a total crap heap that just sits here taking up space on the internet.

I'm sure in a week this blog have a buttload of followers.

Anyways, I guess since Mallory told about herself I better throw a few facts about moi out there.

In my spare time, I enjoy cheerleading, hanging out with friends, running for student body president, and horseback riding. My favorite color is sky blue, I love Justin Bieber (<3) and my favorite food is sushi and frappachinos.





THAT, my friend, was total sarcasm.

Seriously, in my spare time I enjoy music, making Republican Party jokes, proving people wrong, and being the realistic voice of reason in the sea of dreamers. My favorite color is red.

Ok that's all I got.

Also, for the record, Mallory's in charge of deocorating this blog.

I'm going to guide her in her choice of music though. So worry not, you won't have to listen to Ridin Solo by Jason Derulo.

Man, I hate that song.

Also, just because our web address is "Satan is Active", we don't worship the devil.

Also, I believe I am Thing 2. But that doesn't mean I am inferior to Mallory because she is Thing 1.

Hello There Future Readers.

This is Mallory here.
I am one of the creators of this new blog.
Sarah, my best friend, is the other creator.

We have chosen this blog title because...
we thought it sounded cool.

I am Thing 1, so I am entitled to doing the first blog post.

I am not exactly sure what this whole blog will be about.
Maybe serious stuff, or humor, or fun things, or just our thoughts.

But hopefully we will enjoy the blogging process together, and others will like what we post.
We each have our own blogs, but we decided it would be twice as awesome to make a blog together.

You will learn about each of us as we start blogging.
We aren't extremely alike, but that's probably why we are biffles.
Sarah is a bit more on the negative side, while I am the one pushing in her chair for her at seminary in the morning.

I will tell you a little about myself.

I am Mallory.  Or Mallorina.
I live in Narnia.  Just kidding.
I live in a cold place called Alaska.

I love summer, and warmth, and traveling.
I especially love to swim.
I love being tan.

I love watching movies.

I love learning new things.

For most of my life  I have spent my time swimming competitively, or just in some sort of water,
whether it be a pool or ocean.

I wish I was really strong and smart.
I wish it was sunny and rainy more often.  But mostly sunny.
I wish I kept my room cleaner.
I wish I could meet Greyson Chance.

I try to drink a lot of water.
And I try to eat alot.

I used to be a text fanatic.
I used to be more shy.

I want to take a dance class someday.
I want to accomplish my goals.
I want to swim in college.
I want a cumulative GPA 4.0.

I am happy.
I am sometimes boring.
But I make an effort of being interesting.

So...there you go!
Enjoy our blogging :)


-Mallory