Crying

Here's what I think of crying.

(This is in response to this blog post: http://kirstensouth.blogspot.com/ (Breaking Down)).

I hate to cry.

But sometimes it makes me feel so good.

Yet so pitiful.

I feel like whenever I cry I am just having a pity party for myself.  

In words of the good leaders and inspirational people of our world, the way to be happy is by helping others.

But sometimes, you just need to fix your own problems first. 

Like on airplanes, if the plane starts crashing down, the flight attendants say to put your own oxygen mask on first, so you can help the people surrounding you, and your loved ones.

Crying makes me feel weak.

For the first time yesterday in a very long time, I wept.

And no, it was not for anybody else.

I felt selfish.

I cried because I was sorry for myself.

Sorry that I couldn't accomplish my goals and dreams of perfection.

Sorry that I was so sad.

But I told myself to just cry.

Not to hide my tears after my emotions building up for years and years of stress,

and high school,

and problems, 

and drama,

and more stress.

It didn't really fix all my problems.

But it relieved some of my stress.

Because I realized, I can't be perfect.

I can't be some awesome, amazing, do all good person that is perfect in every single way,

like Mary Poppins.

I do wish.

I do dream.

But sometimes those dreams and goals can harm me and you.

So don't tear yourself down.

Don't beat yourself up, as my Coach said.

A part of me will always be sad for what I cannot do, 

and maybe someday I will get there,

but it's not worth despairing over,

I have almost fully realized.

I realize that I just need to be happy.

I need family,

friends,

love, 

God,

service,

and laughter,

and passions.

So, be happy.

Be happy that you can breathe,

talk,

hear,

see,

smell,

and move.

You are alive.

So be alive.

-Mallory